For me, the recently held summit in Singapore between Kim and Trump was a bust. I envisioned a completely different scenario and result. And it was nothing like the pundits’ predictions.

The Mainstream Media gleefully shouted that Kim would make a mockery of the talks and walk away with all sanctions lifted, plus gifts of boatloads of grain and containers of desperately needed packaged foods, like Cocoa Puffs and Gummy Bears, while giving up nothing. The minority Conservative Media predicted that Trump would organize a celebratory parade, honoring his success in the immediate denuclearization of the entire peninsula and the 95% reduction of the North Korean Army.

As expected, the Kim Jung Un Entourage and Fan Club arrived from NC days ahead of the scheduled talks, checking into the penthouse suite of the St. Regis Hotel. I anticipated that Kim would immediately break out the cases of single-malt Scotch, vintage cognac and fine cigars. Oh, and did I mention Singapore’s beautiful women?

Back home in bucolic Pyongyang, the army generals would be calculating how long it would take the Kim team to blow through 600 bottles of booze. They would then initiate their secret plan. The signal would be when the press televised the ping-pong game between Kim and Dennis Rodman. The entire army would then line up in Kim II-sung Square with their cardboard tanks and plastic rockets and march toward the DMZ. Right behind them would be the entire population of North Korea. And this huge mass of humanity would immediately seek asylum in South Korea.

Kim’s one loyal spy on duty in Pyongyang would put in a panic call to Singapore to warn His Holiness of the pending doom. And Kim would say, “Why are yoush telling me dish? Shoooots General Kau Pu.” And Kim would go back to the drinking and frolicking.

The next morning, Kim’s hangover would be the least of his headaches. With the entire country abandoned, there would be no need for negotiations. Kim would be arrested and tried for the death of Otto Warmbier. The Donald would be able to spend the day tweeting about Robert De Niro and the Hollywood glitterati. And Rodman would play hoops with the Singapore Celtics.